Ignoring Open Doors by Alexandra Winter

Buchi Emecheta portrays a heartrending tale of one woman who struggles to gain cultural validation as a female in West Africa in her ironically titled novel The Joys of Motherhood. The novel consists of flashbacks that lead up to the moment that begins the novel: Nnu Ego is at a time in her life of complete desperation as she contemplates suicide after her son’s death. The novel moves backward in time to explain how the protagonist got to this tragic situation. The Joys of Motherhood expresses the deep-seated gender issues of West Africa, in particular the Western Igbo women of the Nigerian southeast. Emecheta takes us on a journey to discover the hardships of wanting a child for cultural acceptance and then discovering all that can go unexpectedly wrong when a woman is finally “blessed” with children. This novel not only reveals the importance of motherhood in West African Society, but also unveils the cultural differences that can arise between those born in a civilized and urban population of Nigeria versus those raised in rural, agricultural villages. These themes can be closely analyzed using a gender literary critique.

Nnu Ego’s pursuit for perfection in motherhood and womanhood often keeps her oblivious to opportunities to take on new social roles and cope with the other hardships of Lagos between the 1930s and 1950s. She first dwells on how to be the perfect daughter, then the perfect wife, and then the perfect mother, all social pressures that ultimately distract her from other paths she could take. However, Nnu Ego is cursed to live an unhappy life as she is haunted by a spirit (chi) of the slave girl who was sacrificed at the death of her mother. The curse takes immediate effect when Ona’s father dies, and then Ona herself, leaving Nnu Ego motherless and without mother’s kin to offer protection, support, and much needed affection. Nnu Ego “knew her chi was a woman, not just because to her way of thinking only a woman would be so thorough in punishing another.” This passage provides insight into the female relationships in the Ibo culture. Women fear other women because they are in constant competition for male approval. Nnu Ego is convinced that only another woman would take her child away from her. The curse along with her self-imposed standards of how to be a real woman keep Nnu Ego culturally imprisoned.

Her initiation to social roles is unbalanced as her idea of what constitutes a woman is learned from her father, making her view of womanhood skewed to that of a male perspective. She sets out to be the perfect woman, according to male standards. From the onset, Nnu Ego is completely dependent on her father and his wishes. This is the beginning of her compliance to gender subjugation. Nnu Ego’s own name is cursed. Her name translates to “twenty bag of cowries,” implying a bride price. It is clear early on that a woman is something to be sold and is a commodity from which a father can profit. From the beginning, her name marks her as nothing more than a transaction between men. She is linguistically doomed to be a victim to male domination. Having never learned through a mother figure how a woman should act, Nnu Ego is determined to fill this masculinized perception of womanhood as perfectly as possible. This is a story of woman who does not want to go against tradition, but rather wants to fill the mold according to the Igbo cultural standards. Her inability to have children is her introduction to failure as a woman and the author’s depiction of a woman’s dependence on cultural standards. It becomes obvious that the cultural standards for women are ruthless, especially when nature does not allow a woman to fulfill her role as a mother.

Her first marriage with Amatokwu proves to be another event that reveals the curse on Nnu Ego’s life. She fails to have produce children with him, so Amatokwu turns cold toward her and takes on a second wife, with whom he is able to give birth to a son. The husband favors his second wife and requests her companionship over Nnu Ego’s, leaving the child in the hands of the protagonist. Feeling dejected and alone, Nnu Ego begins breast-feeding the baby, fantasizing that he were her own. Her fated denial of children and her rejection from her husband causes her to essentially “steal” another woman’s child to feel validated as a woman. This event is found out and Nnu Ego is sent back to her father’s household as a disgrace. Her misfortunes become even more pronounced as her desire for womanly perfection grows.

The Joys of Motherhood demonstrates how colonialism changed the concept of the “ideal” woman in Igbo culture. Amatokwu “knew from experience that such women [from big houses] had an extra confidence and sauciness even in captivity. And that type of arrogance…seemed to excite some wicked trait in him. In his young days, a woman who gave in to a man without first fighting for her honour was never respected.” Before colonialism, Ibo men enjoyed women with some edge to them. In fact, “to regard a woman who is quiet and timid as desirable was something that came after his time, with Christianity and other changes.” Throughout the novel, we see Nnu Ego suffer under these false cultural ideals. Rather than being herself, Nnu Ego tries to mold herself into an image that isn’t even considered attractive by the Ibo men. Amatokwu “watched each other them sink into domesticity and motherhood [and] he was soon bored and would go further for some other exciting, tall and proud female.” It is apparent how Nnu Ego’s perception of what a woman should be only makes her more uncomfortable and unnatural as she brings about more rejection from men.

Her second marriage to Nnaife proves again to be another failure. Nnaife “could tell that Nnu Ego did not approve of him…It was a big joke to the men, women from home wanting to come to Lagos where they would not have to work too hard and expecting a handsome, strong figure of a husband into the bargain. Women were so stupid!” It is clear that Nnaife doesn’t really care whether Nnu Ego approves of him or not. After all, men are in charge and it is not up to the woman what her husband is like anyway. To Nnaife, women’s opinions are ridiculous anyway. This quote really shows not only the gender dynamic in the Igbo culture, but also the lack of respect that men have for women in the first place. It is not just a cultural standard, but a mindset as well.

Nnaife’s character reveals further insight into the importance of having children in the Ibo culture. Nnaife said, “Pity your ideal Amatokwu almost beat you to death because…you did not bear him a son…I’ve given you a home and, if all goes well, the child you and your father have been wanting, and you still sit there staring at me with hatred in your eyes. The day you mention Amatokwu’s name in this house again I shall give you the greatest beating you have ever had. You spoilt, selfish woman!” According to Nnarife, he has fulfilled his duty to get Nnu Ego pregnant, but she remains unhappy with him. This scene is just one demonstration of the aggressiveness of men toward women, along with their unsympathetic perception. He continues, ”You who put Amatokwu’s manhood in question so that he had to marry again quickly and have many children.” This shows that not only is a woman’s cultural role dependent on bearing children, but so is a man’s. A woman’s “failure” directly reflects on her husband in the Igbo culture.

During the time of colonialism, there was a lot of hypocrisy. Cordelia, Ubani’s wife, points out that “men here are too busy being white men’s servants to be men…The shame of it is that they don’t know it. All they see is the money, shining white man’s money.” Nnu Ego then points out the irony that whites in Nigeria outlawed slavery, but continue to enslave blacks with money. Cordelia then says, “They are all slaves, including us. If their masters treat them badly, they take it out on us.” Just like how the black men are enslaved by the white men, the women are enslaved by men. The black men does not see the crime in “enslaving” their women, they only see the crime in being enslaved by the white men. The white men say that slavery is wrong, yet they continue to practice it, just in a different way.

Just like how a black slave is considered property to a white master, a woman is the property of her husband. In court, Nnu Ego must explain this: “‘Nnaife is the head of our family. He owns me, just like God in the sky owns us. So even though I pay the fees, he owns me. So in other words he pays.’” The judge and the courtroom do not immediately understand this concept, showing the difference between traditional gender roles versus a modern husband/wife relationship. In the modern relatioship, an individual’s earnings would belong to the individual, man or woman. In the Igbo culture, a woman will work, earn money, pay for her children to attend school, and still have no credit. Since the woman belongs to her man, the man is the one given credit for paying for his child to go to school.

Nnu Ego is so focused on becoming the perfect traditional mother that she remains oblivious to opportunities that arise. When Nnu Ego comes across her friend Adaku in the marker, she is surprised at how well-off she is. Nnu Ego noticed “Adaku was better dressed- not that she wore anything new, but she put on her good clothes even on ordinary market days. She laughed a lot now; Nnu Ego had never known her to have such a sense of humour…After that she stopped going to Adaku in the market…Why should she deceive herself? The woman was better off than she was.” This passage shows how Nnu Ego could lead a happier, more self-sufficient life if she wanted, but she makes the choice to stay away from modernity. Rather than think about how that lifestyle might work for her too, Nnu Ego just stops going to see her. She is so miserable in her self-imposed traditional pressure that she does not even want to be around someone who has taken a wiser course.

As the story progresses, Nnu Ego begins to see more and more how there was a double standard between men and women. She began feeling “fed up of this two-way standard. When…the children were good they belonged to the father; when they were bad, they belonged to the mother. Every woman knew this; but for Nnaife to keep hurling it in her face at the slightest provocation was very unfair.” Nnu Ego starts to feel helpless and wasted. She knows that no matter how hard she tries, she will never get the title of being a “good parent” because in any patriarchal society, that title only belongs to men. The fact that Nnaife always rubs it in her face further illustrates the injustice in their relationship. It is not enough that Nnaife will always get credit for his children if they are “good,” he must also remind her of this ongoing double standard.

After Nnu Ego loses her first son, she is completely depleted. She had spent so many years trying to bear children and to have her first son die, is the lowest Nnu Ego felt she could go. She felt that “unlike the milk, this pain could not come out, though it urged her on, and she was running, running away from it.” Her culture has ingrained in her mind that the most important role she has is to be a mother and losing a child is a pain that she cannot handle. She felt the pain “was there inside her. There was only one way to rid herself of it. For how would she be able to face the world after what had happened? No, it was better not to try. It was best to end it all this way, the only good way.” Nnu Ego is so programmed by society that she is willing to take her own life before facing her community with the truth. Again, she does not feel like she has adequately fulfilled her role as mother and she feels that without that cultural verification of her femininity, she is nothing.

After Nnu Ego dies, she still receives very little recognition or appreciation. The people said that she “was a wicked woman even in death because, however many people appealed to her to make women fertile, she never did.” She is still blamed for infertility. When she was alive she was blamed for her own infertility and, in death, she was blamed for others. She might have remained bitter in the afterlife and did not grant others the “joys of motherhood” because she learned first-hand how it brought more pain than pleasure. Although this was said, many believed that “she had given all to her children. Because she was given a very expensive funeral, “people failed to understand why she did not answer their prayers, for what else could a woman want but to have sons who would give her a decent burial?” It seems that the sons only did this to make themselves look like “good sons” and in any case it was too late for Nnu Ego. Her did not live a happy life and even the best funeral would not remove the bitterness in her spirit.

The Joys of Motherhood is a complex novel that not only depicts one West African culture, but it reveals the universal demands on all women. Having children has always been a way to gain cultural verification of a woman’s femininity. Throughout time, women have always been subject to what nature grants them. Nnu Ego was cursed to begin with, but made her life worse by acquiescing to cultural subjugation. Because of the choices she made, Nnu Ego learned a little too late that “the joy of being a mother was the joy of giving all to your children.” This novel is about women’s oppression, but more than anything, this novel is about choice. Even when life seems like it could never get any worse, there are always choices that could hinder or enhance a life. It sends the message to not be blind to opportunities that arise when life seems hopeless.